Soft-Skills

How to Have Difficult Conversations

March 2, 2020 By Katie Tingley

Quick Facts

Having difficult conversations is an essential management skill which can be learned
Ask the other person for their thoughts of the situation, and be prepared to really hear them
Be clear about the issue and what you need for it to be resolved
Reinforce that you will work together on a solution – take a team rather than adversarial approach
Close the loop with an email confirming what was said, to avoid future misunderstanding or dispute

Detailed Analysis Whether you are a first-time manager, or an experienced manager with years of practice, having difficult conversations is something few people enjoy. Like other management skills, though, it becomes easier with an effective plan in place – and with practice. Difficult conversation scenarios can include things like under-performance, employee absence, communication issues, and more. The first step when contemplating a challenging conversation is to define the problem with a little more clarity. Ask yourself key questions, such as:

Did I clearly outline my expectations and what outcomes were required? If not, ensure this is done first, and give the other time to respond or refine their work.
Is this the first time this has happened, or is this a recurring issue? A first-time infraction may require a gentler approach and more generous assumptions – after all, everyone makes mistakes. If you are dealing with recurring under-performance, on the other hand, a firmer stance might be appropriate.
Is there something going on in this person’s life that could be influencing the outcome? Team members are people – with families, health concerns, and other stresses at play in their life. While it’s reasonable to expect people to perform their roles effectively, empathy can go a long way towards resolving problems, not to mention building trust.

Now it’s time to prepare for a difficult conversation. When considering how to formulate difficult feedback, use the following steps:

Ask them for their feedback about the situation “I wanted to talk to you about the umbrella project you are working on. How do you think things are going?”. This gives your team member an opportunity to take ownership of the situation, as well as reveal circumstances or challenges that you are not aware of. By asking for their feedback, you demonstrate that you are on the same team, which can make the rest of the conversation easier to have.
Be clear and specific. Share information about the performance you’ve seen. By relying on facts “On the second umbrella prototype, you confirmed that the leaking issue hasn’t been fixed” rather than opinion and emotion “I’m really annoyed that you didn’t bother dealing with the leaking issue!”, the focus is understanding the problem, and finding solutions, rather than arguing about fault or encouraging a defensive stance. It also demonstrates that you have taken the time to understand the problem, building your credibility in their eyes.
Clearly state that you need to see improvement. Set clear expectations and define what a resolution to the problem looks like “I really need to see some improvements in the next few weeks. I will need to see what concrete steps have been taken to resolve the leaking issue.”. Set team members up for success – the goal is to have them achieve what needs to be achieved.
State that you are going to work on it together. As a leader, you are responsible for enabling your team members’ success. Ask what you can do to support them in getting the job done. “Do you have any ideas on what would improve your work outcomes?”
Follow up with an email summarizing your conversation and agreed–to next steps. This ensures mutual understanding and provides an opportunity to clarify or ask questions. If matters remain unresolved, it also serves as documentation of the steps you have taken to resolve this issue, should more drastic action be required.

Finally, make a difficult conversation easier with these tips:

Give feedback early when performance is an issue. Problems are more easily resolved when they are small, and people appreciate a course correction earlier in the process – it shows you are looking out for them and their success.
Be firm but compassionate. Kindness is key, but true leadership demands honesty too.
Take notes with dates during and after meetings. This helps to keep future conversations fact-based and provides documentation should additional performance management steps need to be taken.

Difficult conversations are a challenging – but necessary- part of team management. Giving open and direct feedback shows you believe your team member is capable and has a genuine desire to deliver results, and it provides them vital information to help them improve, grow and succeed.

Managing Up

February 11, 2020 By Katie Tingley

Quick Facts

“Managing up” means maintaining a degree of control or influence over those whose rank might be higher than ours.
Understanding your boss’ position makes it easier to align your goals with theirs
Be solution-oriented – don’t just complain, problem-solve.
Challenge them constructively, while still respecting their position.
Be willing to learn – recognize they may rank above you for very good reason, such as superior skills, knowledge or experience.

Detailed Analysis

There are a few ways to think about the word ‘manage’. One is “to be in charge of, administer, oversee” – which implies the person doing the managing has some direct control over the situation – being ‘the boss’, so to speak. An alternative meaning; however, is ‘to have influence over’. The source of the authority here is more ambiguous – influence in particular is based on something other that direct authority. So what? When we talk about management, we often think about being in charge of something – a team, project, department. However, none of us – even upper managers – are truly at the top of the ladder – most of us have a ‘superior’ to contend with – be it our own manager/boss, a board, or a client. In these cases, we need to lean more heavily into the alternate meaning of ‘manage’ – to maintain some degree of influence – even when the organizational chart might state otherwise. How do we influence? Recognize that your ‘boss’ is an individual, like you, trying to do a (perhaps difficult) job and deserves the same respect we would extend to anyone. Then, given the unique dynamic of the relationship, implement these tips and practices:

Listen First. Understand your boss’ position and what they are trying to achieve. Know their drivers, KPIs, and strategic goals. Ultimately, what your boss asks of you will align with these – certainly that should be their goal. Understanding why they are asking what they are asking will make it easier for you to get behind the objectives you’ve been handed. Additionally, when you feel you should pursue a course different to what they have laid out for you, you will be able to position this new course in terms of their benefit and how it will more effectively deliver what they are asking. In some ways, we need to think of our boss as a client – someone whose satisfaction with what we deliver will be our ultimate measure of success. As with a client, understand their pain points and know that a big part of your job is to solve them.

Never complain without a solution. Success in business is success in problem-solving, and the employees who stand out are the ones that can not only identify problems (this is the easy part) but can propose reasonable and workable solutions to these problems. An example – clients are complaining to you about slow delivery times for reports (and you have no direct control over delivery). Don’t just tell your boss that you are getting complaints – propose some courses of action they could take to address the issue – do you need a more streamlined process, or to renegotiate KPIs to be more realistic? And further – what can you do to help your boss set these solutions in motion – can you run numbers and create a report that would enable him/her to make a convincing argument, or can you offer to reach out to your technology team to understand the issue from their point of view? Your solution may not be the right one – but the effort shows your manager that you are on their team, you are being proactive, and you are ultimately making their life easier, not harder – valuable traits for any employee. A side note: coming with solutions does NOT mean hiding problems. If a project has run off-course and you don’t have a solution yet, flag the issue with your boss and let them know what you are doing to find the solution. They may be able to help, and at least you won’t be catching them off-guard if the problem becomes more than you can manage alone.

Don’t be afraid to challenge them – but recognize that it’s ultimately their call. Challenging your manager (in a respectful way) can be a highly valuable act, helping them think through their rationale for decisions – and protecting them from a similar challenge coming from the top (also, because you are not directly responsible, you may have an advantageous position for making decisions they can benefit from. A good manager will appreciate an intelligent challenge that helps them think and act more effectively, while minimizing their exposure to mistakes. However, having made your challenge, recognize that the decision is theirs (along with the liability for getting it wrong) and your job is to do the best you can with the directives they give you. It goes without saying, if your course of action would have been more effective (or is implemented after another strategy goes awry), “I told you so” is not a useful sentiment to express (either directly or by implication). See the success as your team’s.

Learn what you can. In some cases, even the best managing up strategies will not work. Not every manager is a great manager. In this case, learn what you can – know that they are in that role for a reason, be it some technical expertise, political acumen, etc., and figuring this out will give you insights into how to navigate the hierarchy of your company. Even if you have a ‘bad boss’, it is always in your best interest to view the situation as a learning experience, if only learning what not to do, what doesn’t work, and how to be resilient in less-than-ideal circumstances. (It goes without saying that this does not include harassment and ill-treatment – if those lines are crossed, it’s time to speak with HR.) To the extent we must work with others, everyone is a manager of the people around them. Managing up requires a combination of empathy, tact, and intentionality, but is a critical tool in your career toolbelt.

How Data Practitioners Can Grow in 2020

January 14, 2019 By Katie Tingley

As we kick off 2020, many of us consider what we need to learn in the year ahead. As data professionals, what one skill can we identify that will pay career dividends through the year ahead?

Quick Facts

Putting yourself in the other’s shoes is a practice that can pay business and career dividends when done regularly.
When providing information and analysis, ensure you know what your stakeholder needs to know.
Stay focused on solving their business problem to the best of your ability, rather than arguing for constraints.
Figure out the best way to package the information, keeping the needs of the audience in mind, so they can hear what you are trying to communicate.

Detailed Analysis

Practice putting yourself in the other’s shoes.

Sound too vague or impractical? It isn’t. Here are three practical questions to ask yourself, to implement this resolution and reap the benefits.

If you were in their shoes, what would you need to know?

Oftentimes, stakeholders will come forward with a specific request. Rather than running with it, as data professionals it’s important to take a step back and ask, what is the need that this request means to fulfill? As a data expert, you have knowledge your stakeholder doesn’t have, and by understanding the need behind the request, you may be able to recommend more effective or efficient means of addressing it. Clarify with the stakeholder: what is the business question you are trying to answer? What will be done with the information – how will it be used to affect the business? Is speed or accuracy the greater priority in this situation? And then proceed accordingly, or recommend a different course of action to consider.

The benefits – Not only do you position yourself as a trusted professional (an excellent skill to boost any career), but you can also avoid the rework, overwork, or dissatisfaction that can result when what you deliver does not meet the stakeholder’s real need (regardless of what they asked for).

If you were in their shoes, what solutions would help the cause?

In a perfect world, every business problem would have a clear solution. When a request goes beyond the available solutions, the result can be frustration and anxiety. As a data professional, you must understand the constraints and be able to explain them in a reasonable way. You must also be able to propose solutions – work-arounds, alternatives, or partial answers – that can advance the journey towards a solution, even if they can’t provide it fully. If you can do the above while empathizing with the difficult situation your stakeholder may be in, all the better.

The benefits – Tempering bad news with rational explanations (“Here’s where we are limited and here’s why…”) and possible alternatives (“…but we may be able to try …”) can go along way towards diffusing tense situations, pre-empting objections or emotional reactions, and keeping the communication positive and productive. Empathy puts you all on the same team, working together towards a mutually beneficial solution, rather than at cross-purposes.

If you were in their shoes, how would you need to hear it?

When you prepare to communicate with an audience, the quality of information is only one piece of the communication puzzle. At least as important is how the audience needs to hear it. Think about what they are seeking to learn from the communication. You may be fascinated with the process of deriving business intelligence, but an executive in a time crunch might just want the bottom line. The answer may seem obvious to you, but some audiences might need to be convinced. By seeing it from the audience’s perspective, you can tailor your messaging so that it is more effective.

The benefits – Tailoring to your audience allows you to anticipate and avoid objections, minimize misunderstanding, prepare adequately, and demonstrate your value. It also helps you gain credibility with your audience and increase the likelihood that your work with lead to action being taken.

Far from being impractical, the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes is an essential business competency. Not only does it benefit the stakeholder, but it benefits you and your career. Resolve to advance this skill throughout 2020 and reap the rewards.