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The Pursuit of Happiness – Part 2 – What Actually Works

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  Quick Facts

  • The pursuit of happiness is a natural human phenomena and research has revealed effective ways of achieving happiness.
  • Relationships, using our strengths, creating meaning in our lives, and caring for our physical wellness through exercise are four examples of proven happiness boosters.

Detailed Analysis

In our last post, we broke down the myths of happiness and how we can counteract the hedonic adaptation which can compromise our happiness. Fortunately, research has not only broken down our old paradigm of what makes a happy life; it has also given us insight into what we can do to actually be happier, regardless of our circumstances.  Today, we’ll explore four important ways to invest in your happiness.

Take care of your relationships – Relationships are perhaps the most important way for humans to find true and lasting happiness. Family, friends, community connections – these all contribute to human flourishing. Take time regularly to nurture the important relationships in your life and you’re likely to be a happier person (not to mention increase the happiness of those around you, too). Research suggests that actually talking to people – rather than texting and emailing – boosts this relational benefit even further.

Using your strengths – Determining your personal strengths and using them consciously can increase of happiness. In the work world, this is an easy way to create a win-win for ourselves and our business, by discovering how you can being your unique abilities to your work context. Assessment such as the StrengthsFinder or the Via Character Strengths assessment can help you pinpoint some of your strengths, or just honestly assess what you know you are good at – whether it’s as specific as designing analytics strategies, or as general as a quality like empathy or humility – and use them as frequently as you can.

Creating meaning – Orienting ourselves within a bigger picture of values gives our lives meaning and sheds long-term happiness even on struggles and challenges. Regardless of what we are doing, meaning emerges when we have a sense that we are working for something bigger than ourselves – whether a cause, an ideal, or a spiritual truth we believe in. For example, if we value artistic expression, the sometimes long and frustrating process of creating will still bring happiness, since it’s part of living out our values and links to a broader meaning. And working for more money might not create much meaning, but working to provide for your family, experience the joy of achievement, or enjoy the feeling of tackling new challenges can.

Exercise and physical well-being – It’s simple – exercise is one of the most effective ways of increasing happiness. From improving our overall health, to lowering stress, to boosting mood and energy levels, exercise pays huge dividends in the quest for a happy life. And it doesn’t have to be anything complicated, expensive or time consuming – it has been reported that even a 12 minute walk can enhance our mood (not to mention provide us with many physical benefits as well). Of course, walking is only one option among many. Perhaps you prefer yoga, running, team sports, dance or hitting the gym. Whatever your preference, know that your body is not the only beneficiary of your fitness regime – your mental state is, too.

In the end, it seems that happiness is less of an end-state and more of a journey – a constant process of investing in the things that matter and mindfully limiting our emphasis on things that don’t. Gratitude, savouring, love, growth, physical well-being – these are the building blocks of a happy life.

The Pursuit of Happiness Part 1 – What Doesn’t Work

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Quick Facts

  • The pursuit of happiness is a natural human phenomena; however, we often use ineffective means to reach this goal.
  • One of the most common methods, the pursuit of material wealth and comfort, is one such ineffective method, due to a human adaptive trait known as “hedonic adaptation”.

Detailed Analysis

The pursuit of happiness has been part of the human experience for millennia. But only recently has science begun to shed light on the path (and limits) to sustainable happiness.  Positive psychology is the branch of psychology focused on positive human well-being, or what pioneer Martin Seligman describes as “flourishing”. In this post, we’ll look at some of the myths and pitfalls of the pursuit of happiness, while our next post will explore a few proven ways to increase happiness in our lives.

The happiness question often centers on achievement and its rewards, and this can be especially true for businesspeople working in competitive environments and rewarded for hard work. However, the acquisition of material wealth is often a less effective path to happiness than we might think. Consider income: In Canada, some of the happiest places are in Newfoundland, while some of the least happy in Ontario, despite that fact that the average income in Ontario is about $10,000 higher than in Newfoundland.  This is just one example of the lack of correlation between income and happiness. In fact, research shows that, once people have enough money for relative security and comfort, earning power and its corollaries (luxury items, larger homes, etc.) don’t change happiness much at all (the distinction is important – it can’t be emphasized enough that people who are not able to earn enough for stability and comfort are compromised in many ways, including happiness).

So it turns out the old saying is true: money (once our necessities are taken care of) really can’t buy happiness. But why? Blame a phenomena called ‘hedonic adaptation’. As humans, our ability to adapt is one of our great strengths – but one of its side effects is that we quickly adapt to an improvement in our material circumstances, too.

In othe words, if you go from having no home to having a home, the difference in happiness is significant. But if you move from a comfortable home to a bigger or more expensive home, after a brief happiness bump, your mind quickly adapts to having more space or luxury, and soon you are about as happy as you were before the upgrade, but not happier. This can trigger a frustrating and ineffective cycle of chasing that initial bump in happiness through more earning or acquisition.

While the hedonic treadmill is ingrained in the human mind, there are two practices we can undertake to counteract it:

  • Gratitude: It’s such common advice these days as to almost be cliché, but science confirms that gratitude makes us happier. Taking some time a few times a week to make a note of the things we are grateful for is a proven method to keep us from being carried away by the hedonic adaptation trap.
  • Savouring: A form of mindfulness, the practice of savouring is one in which we take the time to fully experience and enjoy what we are doing and where we are. Be fully present to the comfort you experience as you drive your car. Give your entire attention to enjoying your meal. Put your phone down and really listen to your kids, your spouse or your best friend when they talk. Whatever it is, we increase our enjoyment by taking the time to fully engage with our experience, rather than thinking about what’s coming next, or being distracted by our email.

So, while the pursuit of happiness comes naturally to us, some of the ways we instinctively try to pursue it are less effective – and in fact can work against our goal. In our next post, we’ll look at proven ways to boost happiness.

Hobbies Make You a Better Businessperson

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Quick Facts

  • Hobbies are not just a pastime – they support the development of soft skills that are beneficial to our careers.
  • Creativity, the ability to see things from a different perspective, and confidence are just three of the key benefits we reap when we invest in our hobbies.

Detailed Analysis

As we enjoy the summer months and – hopefully – prioritize some rest and relaxation as part of our routine, it’s an excellent time to focus on, or discover, our hobbies. Far from being ‘just a pastime’, hobbies can actually help us build some of the soft skills that are essential to our success in the workplace. As with most things leading to our overall well-being, our careers and businesses are beneficiaries of our own self-care. In fact, an article in the Harvard Business Review notes that three critical soft skills are supported by our hobbies:

  • Creativity: This is perhaps the most obvious of the three, in terms of how hobbies can help us – especially (but not only) if our hobby is a traditionally creative pursuit like art or music. But how does this help us in business? LinkedIn reports that creativity is the most sought after soft skill in 2020. Creative thinkers can bring new perspectives to problems and challenge conventions (these skills are especially valuable during times of upheaval, when business as usual is not an option).
  • The article sees perspective as something akin to empathy, or the ability to take the perspective of another person. The arts in particular can be helpful with this soft skills. Additionally, hobbies give us the perspective that comes with creating space between yourself and the everyday problems you may face during your workday. This space supports the ability to ‘zoom out’ and see things from a different, or most holistic, angle, enabling us to bring more strategic and long-term thinking to the situation. Perspective is also an important tool in stress management, enabling us to place our work stress into a broader context thus making it easier to manage.
  • Confidence is a keystone habit. It enables us to build other skills – both hard and soft – that we may need to adapt to changing workplaces and changing times. Hobbies enable us to tackle challenge in a relatively safe and low stakes environment, helping us build our resilience muscles.

Although these three benefits of hobbies are particularly notable, just about every hobby can net us some soft skills benefits: reading, writing, and drama can support the development of our written and oral communication skills; technology hobbies can hone hard technical skills; puzzles of various types support mental acuity and problem solving; team sports and activities promote collaboration and leadership; volunteer work builds empathy. All hobbies give us a positive sense of humility and lifelong learning.

Regardless of whether you enjoy running, gardening, reading, coding, playing baseball, practicing yoga or tackling the crossword in the New York Times, your hobbies are a worthwhile investment.  

Rituals for Businesspeople

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Quick Facts

  • Anxiety is always a challenge, and it may be heightened during times of uncertainty and rapid change.
  • Anxious circumstances can make stress-inducing tasks like giving presentations or having difficult conversations even more stressful.
  • Rituals can be used as a tool to create feelings of calm and control.
  • Rituals can be empathy-, exertion-, spiritual-, or mantra-based, depending on what works for your personality and preferences.

Detailed Analysis

We’ve heard again and again that anxiety levels are high, and the shift to remote work has only exacerbated the problem. Consider some scenarios: a manager who already finds giving presentations nerve-wracking now has to give them via video, adding a layer of technical difficulty and making it harder to connect with the audience; a leader has to give bad news or difficult feedback to an employee over the phone rather than in person; a businessperson whose children are now at home full-time is trying to interview for a new job with the noise of play in the background.

In the remote world, even just starting your workday in what may be a less-than-conducive work environment can be stress-inducing. Any of these scenarios would be stressful under normal circumstances; add some of the current complications to the mix, and for some they become downright daunting. How can we boost our confidence and re-claim our calm in these situations?

Science suggests that using rituals is a natural human propensity that we can consciously leverage to manage stressful situations, likely because they give us a sense of control and predictability when things feel overwhelming or scary. Although not a panacea, using rituals before stressful situations can boost confidence and calm.

What ritual you choose will depend on your personality and preferences, and there is no one-size-fits all ritual for everyone. Effective rituals can include things as different as performing vigorous jumping jacks, to sitting in stillness and breathing deeply.

The important feature seems to be that it is planned and predictable – so you do the jumping jacks or the deep breathing 10 minutes before your presentation, every time you present, for example. Again, it’s the sense of familiarity and predictability that seems to have the calming effect. An HBR report on this phenomenon suggests that there are four basic types of ritual you can try:

  1. Empathy-based rituals focus on connecting with others. Examples could include taking some time to speak with meeting or presentation attendees before your formal presentation (on a video conference, this could mean opening the call 5 or 10 minutes early for some informal chat) or visualizing things from the audience’s point of view (for example, before a difficult phone conversation, visualizing the other person’s perspective).
  2. Exertion rituals focus on moving your body and expelling some of the excess energy and tension that can build prior to a stressful conversation or event. A quick walk, jumping up and down, dancing around – anything that utilizes your body’s movement counts as an exertion ritual.
  3. Spiritual rituals can connect us with whatever it is that grounds us – our beliefs, values, or even just our connection to our breath. Prayer, meditation, and deep breathing can all be used as spiritual rituals.
  4. Mantra rituals involve repetition of a meaningful phrase or word – for example “I am present to this moment” or something as simple as “Breathe”.  There is no magic to any set of words – the repetition itself seems to be what is soothing, and the words can give you a positive focal point to direct your energy towards

Whatever ritual you choose to try, it is not a replacement for other important steps – for example, practicing your presentation and being really familiar with its content, or preparing for your difficult conversation. However, a ritual can give us a sense of calm and control in difficult situations, enabling the hard work and preparation we’ve done to shine in its best light.  

Digital Communication 101

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Quick Facts

  • The remote work world means that virtual meetings and communications are now commonplace.
  • It’s crucial to remember that our professional brands are at stake when we use this medium ineffectively.
  • Ultimately, our soft skills, and how we apply them in this specific context, will contribute to our professional success.

Detailed Analysis

As the work world has shifted online and Zoom and similar platforms replace boardrooms, for the most part, business has adapted well. Most of us have integrated some level of video calling into our daily work and personal lives with success. When learning a new skill and technology, mistakes and failures are inevitable (and sometimes, entertaining). However, our professional brands are at stake, so it’s worth revisiting some of the essentials of digital communication.

Dress for business:  Protect your brand by visually presenting what you want to be seen. It’s natural that things have become more casual as people work primarily from home, but this does not mean we should be wearing pajamas on business calls. Casual business attire is a must. You may with to think beyond your personal appearance to the visuals surrounding you. This doesn’t mean you need to have a perfect office; however, it’s worth keeping your workplace at home as neat and organized as is professional – just as you would in the office.

Minimize distraction. Yes, some is unavoidable, and hopefully most workplaces and colleagues are sympathetic to the unavoidable noise of children in the home, construction outdoors, or other unavoidable interruptions. Still, there are things you can do to minimize their impact – mute your microphone when you aren’t speaking, choose the most quiet space available to you, and don’t walk around unnecessarily with your device while you’re in a meeting to prevent the moving background effect.

Use gestures. Even though video conferences are, by definition, visual, it is still harder to communicate via body language as compared to being in the room with someone. Be intentional with your gestures. Smile when you greet someone or make a point of nodding to convey that you are actively listening. (side note: be sure to actively listen! It’s easy to get sidetracked by our phones or papers when on a video call, but this distraction will come across to other participants). A quick hand-raise can indicate you’d like to add something (see below).

Use the features of the technology. A simple tool which meeting moderators should use whenever possible is the ‘raised hand’ tool. Because it be difficult to ‘jump in’ with comments and be heard on video conferences, this feature allows participants to indicate that they have a point to add without interrupting other speakers. Other features such as chat can also be used to ease communication.

Revisit all the etiquette rules for digital communication. The platform may be new but at least the rules are essentially the same – actively listen, be polite, speak clearly, be professional. It’s worth extending the etiquette review to email and text, and these replace many face to face interactions. Compose professional texts and emails, be brief but polite, use spell check, and always pause before hitting ‘send’.

Ultimately, we need to nurture our soft skills, adapting them as needed to cope with the new world. Communication skills, adaptability, empathy, curiosity, problem-solving, humility – all of these are essential to thriving in the remote workplace and will serve you throughout your career.